I’m certain you’re all DYING to know this, but I tempted fate today by consuming TWO peaches in the span of one day, AND MY PERFECT PEACH STREAK REMAINS UNBROKEN!
THE PERFECT PEACH STREAK REMAINS UNBROKEN!
STILL GOING. IAN AND I BOTH HAD PERFECT PEACHES FOR BREAKFAST.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
If we are friends and we get on a bus together and you immediately put your earbuds in to listen to music instead of talking to me, I will very loudly ask embarrassing questions and make generally stupid comments about you and my surroundings until you give up and have a conversation with me.
Some of these questions/comments may include:
"How many times in your lifetime would you say you’ve shit your own pants? It’s got to be a deceptively high number, right? Like in the upper hundreds or something? I mean, I’m sure the number drops by an insane margin once you factor out your infant years, but I’d say I’ve probably pooped myself a good fifty times in adulthood. AT LEAST."
"Have you ever smelled a coconut? Like a real coconut that grows on trees, not that shit you get inside of a Mounds bar. I bet natural coconuts don’t smell anything like that shit."
"[loudly sings "Funkytown" by Lipps Inc.]"
"Where the fuck did the term badonkadonk come from? I mean, it’s great and I love it and I plan to incorporate it into at least one conversation per day for the rest of my life, but what is the origin of that word?"
"What do you think went through the head of the first prehistoric woman the first time she had her period? Was it like ‘OH GOD I’M DYING!’ or was it more of a ‘Well, I guess THIS is a thing that happens now.’?"
"I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bus that didn’t have sticky floors. I’m convinced that as soon as a brand new bus is manufactured, they smear a bunch of awful shit on the floors before it gets shipped out. Awful shit smearing is an actual part of the manufacturing process of buses, is what I’m saying."
mikerastiello said: Civil War: I'm with Rob K